The title may be misleading because this has much more to do with Australia than the near East, but hang with me for a second.
So, I was down under a few weeks ago and was pleased to find the average Aussie’s taste in music superior to that of our own. During a party I found myself listening to Miike Snow and Passion Pit instead of Miley Cyrus and Ke$ha. It nearly brought me to tears. Along my trek (Dare I call it a walkabout?), I met a few music enthusiasts, one of whom I’m still trading suggestions with. We’ve gone through a handful of artists, my favorite of whom has been The Middle East. Now you see the title wasn’t all for naught.
The Middle East is a nice folksy band with a little perkier tempo than most. They just played at Coachella (which I despise for the record), so I assume they are picking up steam. They’re currently working on some new stuff which should come out soon, but for a temporary sample check out this music video.
Another year in music has come and gone. And once again DJ Earworm has given us a mash-up that says it all. He has taken the Top 25 hits of 2009, according to Billboard and arranged and mashed them all into one 4 and 1/2 minute song. And I have to say I am pretty impressed that this can be done and made into a reasonably enjoyable song. It even has a bit of a theme and a decent song structure.
But what does that say about the state of pop music, that all of these songs are similar enough to mashed up into one singular song? I don’t think this a completely untalented group of artists. I actually enjoyed a fair amount of these songs this year. But I think it goes to show how much the labels and producers are controlling the sound on these records. It’s no wonder we eat these songs up and then make ourselves so sick of them that we never want to hear them again. Because we’re essentially listening to the same song over and over again. What do you guys think?
Here’s a list of all of the songs included in this year’s mash-up.
The Black Eyed Peas – BOOM BOOM POW
Lady Gaga – POKER FACE
Lady Gaga Featuring Colby O’Donis – JUST DANCE
The Black Eyed Peas – I GOTTA FEELING
Taylor Swift – LOVE STORY
Flo Rida – RIGHT ROUND
Jason Mraz – I’M YOURS
Beyonce – SINGLE LADIES (PUT A RING ON IT)
Kanye West – HEARTLESS
The All-American Rejects – GIVES YOU HELL
Taylor Swift – YOU BELONG WITH ME
T.I. Featuring Justin Timberlake – DEAD AND GONE
The Fray – YOU FOUND ME
Kings Of Leon – USE SOMEBODY
Keri Hilson Featuring Kanye West & Ne-Yo – KNOCK YOU DOWN
Jamie Foxx Featuring T-Pain – BLAME IT
Pitbull – I KNOW YOU WANT ME (CALLE OCHO)
T.I. Featuring Rihanna – LIVE YOUR LIFE
Soulja Boy Tell ‘em Featuring Sammie – KISS ME THRU THE PHONE
Lukasz Sebastian Gottwald, otherwise known as “Doctor Luke” has managed, yet again, to get indie hipsters and radio lovers all across the country to move their feet and swivel their hips with Miley Cyrus’ incredibly catchy and dance-able “Party in the USA.” But for whatever reason, the majority of the people who found themselves dancing to and loving this song last night, will inevitably deny doing so today. Because Miley Cyrus isn’t “cool” or “hip.” Nor is Katy Perry, Britney Spears, or Kelly Clarkson. Yet you know that each of them has released a song in the past year or two that you actually liked. I know this because of the insane amount of remixes from these artists that have been floating around the blogosphere and climbing to the top of the charts on Hype Machine. In fact, right now the #1 most loved track is a mash-up of “Party in the USA” with a Biggie song. Over 2,000 people “loved” this track. I don’t remember the last time I saw a track reach over 2,000. And believe it or not, the main reason you like those remixes, is because there was something great about the song in its original form.
Don’t get me wrong now, I’m not trying to compare any of these girls to the truly great female artists of our time, such as Neko Case, Feist, or Brandi Carlile. For the most part they are nothing more than a pretty face and great voice. But when you add that great voice with some of Gottwald’s hooks and melodies and you’ve got something worth listening to. I’m not saying that you should throw caution to the wind and go buy the new Miley Cyrus record at Wal-Mart (for that is the only place it can be found). That would be foolish. But when Dr. Luke has the chance to get his hands on a single, I am going to pay attention.
So why can’t we just unabashedly own our love for these songs. I’ll go first. I love the new Miley Cyrus single. I don’t care that the lyrics are a little elementary. It makes me dance and puts me in a swell mood. Here are a few other hits that Gottwald had his hands in that I’m not afraid to say that I enjoy, regardless of whether or not Diplo has remixed it yet.
So now that it’s summer, I have more freetime on my hands. So why not take this wonderful relaxing period to review some albums?
I thought the new Jonas Brothers album, Lines, Vines, and Trying Times might be a good start.
Track 1. World War III
For a track about “World War” it’s pretty upbeat. Lyrics are pure poop. I wonder what instruments they’re actually playing, and what’s actually being played by the backing band. The overall quality of the lyrics are seriously downgraded because the target audience is between the ages 9 and 12.
Spoiler Alert:
If World War III is a battle between The Jonas Brothers and their Girlfriend… then God help us all.
Track 2. Paranoid
Look out everybody, Joe is freaking out. I’d be paranoid if there was nine year olds who would chase me down to try and kiss me. “Can someone stop the noise?”, unfortunately not yet… I’ve got 10 more tracks of punishment.
Track 3. Fly with Me
Fly with Me? The disney references in the song are BEYOND OBVIOUS. Anything resembling talent in this song, ie piano & violin, were played by professional musicians. Starting to notice that every song has the same structure.
Poison Ivy has to be the worst song I’ve heard yet. Super super super super repetitive. The phrase “Poison Ivy” is mentioned 20 times.
Not to mention the song is confusing as heck.
First they spend half the song singing
“Everyone’s allergic to poison ivy” over and over and over.
Then they switch it up at the end
“Everybody needs a little poison ivy”
But you just… said..
“Gimme some poison, baby!”
Track 5. Hey Baby (feat. Johnny Lang)
This song actually has someone with TALENT, Johnny Lang! Too bad the brothers sing over him so you can’t hardly hear him.
<sarcasm>Wonderful. As if there wasn’t enough talent in the “greatest pop group of all time” that this song also has Miley Cyrus.</sarcasm> I think my head just might explode, but not before my ears bleed me to death (not the good bleed either).
This song sounds so tender, which makes it like a knockoff Rascal Flatts song. Is it just me or are Jonas Brothers songs using clichés in their lyrics and song titles?
Here’s something sad, in my head I just decided that Miley Cyrus is way too talented to be hanging around the Jonas Brothers. Eeehhhhk.
I wish this song would pick up the pace and end.
“Standin’ out in the rain,
Knowin’ that it’s really over.
Please don’t leave me alone. ”
Please leave me alone!
Track 7. What Did I Do to Your Heart
Over halfway now, I think I’m in the country half now… This song sounds like bluegrass fused with Rascal Flatts.
I’m not a fan of Rascal Flatts, but I feel bad that talentless disney do-nothings with infinite promotional money can just swoop in and steal their sound.
Track 8. Much Better
Much better? Not yet. The opening sounded like the start of a 1980′s adult contemporary pop song. The Jonas Brothers are regressing. And what’s up with all the crappy synth all of a sudden? There is barely any performed instruments on the track, which means that this would be lots of dancing onstage for a live show, oh boy.
Oh, and watch out for the random Saxophone & Guitar solo that does NOT belong anywhere in the song, nor match the flow and feel of any song.
Track 9. Black Keys
I can’t quite put my finger on who THIS SONG is emulating, but after 30 seconds you quickly see that The Jonas Brothers are literally TRYING TO SOUND LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
Okay, so Common is in this song. I dig that. But you have to bring in a B-List rapper to rap in a song about crime? Racist much? The song has Joe Jonas singing about how he doesn’t want to be charged for the crime that he committed.
I’m thinking of submitting a amicus curiae brief to the court, because music this bad needs to be the crime.
Gosh. What I said earlier about the worst song on the album…. it’s this song.
The lyrics are word-vomit. The music is terrible. Just bad.
Track 11. Turn Right
The whine of Joe Jonas’s voice is probably my least favorite sound now. The lyrics aren’t too bad, but I’m having a hard time understanding them because of how whiney the voices are.
Track 12. Don’t Speak
Last track, and again it has professional musicians playing better than the brothers ever could. This is another song about another failed relationship between the brothers and a girlfriend. Not the worst track of the album, but still torture enough that four minutes was way too long for.
Overall…
Trash. This is what critics have been saying for years, that one day a band would be created for the sole purpose of making money. The Jonas Brothers do not contribute anything positive to the future of music or creativity. I understand that there is a need for popular music geared at a younger crowd that is not only safe for them to listen to, but also relevant to them… but this just feels to me like patronizing. When I have kids and they want to listen to some “rockin’ good stuff”, they’ll be air-guitaring it up to some Boston and Electric Light Orchestra with me like I did with my Dad.
To slap a number on it…
I give Lines, Vines, and Trying Times a 0.5 out of 5 in terms of quality
And a 10 out of 10 in terms of crap. Ω
The title may be misleading because this has much more to do with Australia than the near East, but hang with me for a second.
So now that it’s summer, I have more freetime on my hands. So why not take this wonderful relaxing period to review some albums?
